Now, we’re all aware I’ve done by share of dating and have met many men who are all remarkable in their own way but there’s always something missing. Right? Or is it just me not being able to stop looking for something better? OR is it them not being able to stop looking for something better? I’ve written in previous posts about how I believe dating is unquestionably different in today’s society than when our grandparents were around…One reason being because I don’t think men chase the woman they want, they just move on to the next because it’s the easiest, even if that means losing her. If there is the slightest thing that’s not perfect about her they seem to turn their heads and forget about everything that is perfect. When is it going to be enough? When will the endless amounts of fun, comfort, laughs, smiles, support, (the list could go on) be enough to want to “start” building something that has the potential to be a lasting relationship? When will that be enough? That is what I cannot seem to wrap my brain around and cannot stop asking myself.
I’ve got some incredible girlfriends who are some of the most influential and caring women I know. Some are moms, some are single, some are married, some are engaged but they all have one thing in common, they’re spectacular women! A few of these ladies are in relationships that give me so much hope that there is a man out there who will love, support and cherish me for everything I am because I see how much their husbands love them. Others have husbands, boyfriends and fiancés who treat them like absolute dog shit and don’t deserve the love these women undoubtedly cannot help but give them. When I hear the stories they tell and see the heartache these men cause my loves I then question “is this something I want to ever go through (again)?” Now please don’t take this as me “man hating” or that I believe that men are to fault for every relationship problem because if anyone knows me they know I ALWAYS see both sides to stories. Women can be the source to a lot of heartache as well. I’ve also seen with first hand my girlfriends who are without question the ones who cause their guys pain. But going back to needing more constantly, why hurt the one you love? Why do things you know will cause them pain? Why not do everything you can to make the person happy? Now I’m aware things happen and people mess up, but when is love enough? When can a man say “this woman would do anything in her power to make me happy, why keep looking? Or why treat her poorly?” (or vice versa)
Oprah said once (don’t roll your eyes) that she believes you can have it all, just not all at the same time. So why do we take this approach with people we meet? Why do some people want and expect their partner to have it all and pass up someone who might be missing a few things? Of course it sounds great to be with someone who has everything we want but that’s when we have to step back and screw on our heads to realize it’s not going to happen. I think it’s important to set forth your main values and ideals that you need in a partner so we know what we’re not willing to budge on; because let’s face it we all need those to know we’re not settling for just anyone. With that said, I believe there are certain values and quirks that outweigh others so you then have to ask yourself “in 5 years will this stupid thing matter that I’m willing to throw everything away for or will the fact that this woman loves me unconditionally and makes me want to be a better person each day I’m with her be enough?” When will come the time when it’s worth letting some of the insignificant things fall under the rug because we realize they don’t matter in the grand scheme and these quirks this person has makes them who they are?
I believe that if you expect your woman or man to have it all then you’d better take a good hard look at yourself and make damn sure you’ve got everything you expect your partner to have.
: Deep breath:
“Find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest and a heart that will love you at your worst”
