The past couple of months have been pretty stressful and I’m really trying to keep a positive outlook on everything that happens and with everyone that comes into my life going forward. I’ve always been pretty good at making the best out of every situation I’m thrown into but there are a few lately that are just too much of headache when it’s all said and done.
Now I am always on board for a good change now and again but usually my kind of change means moving around my apartment, painting my kitchen or going on a weekend trip for a short change of scenery. When someone’s demeanor or personality changes drastically it’s hard to be on board with it and not want to ask what happened. If the change is for the better then there isn’t really a need to talk about it but it’s just important to be appreciative of it and be aware of it at the same time. But if the change has a negative effect on how they treat you then I believe the approach should be to not let it go unnoticed and to definitely say something. The dilemma I am having is...how soon is too soon to bring it up?
So the holidays are officially around the corner and it didn’t hit home to me until I watched Oprah’s Favorite Things episode the other day. This is the first year that I can honestly say I am not AS excited as I have been during previous years. No particular reason really, maybe just getting older? But if getting older means you don’t get excited about holidays then I think that’s a load of crap. It’s been really hard to sit back and watch my family grow apart and not appreciate each other like we use to. I know things happen and people change but family is family and no matter what happens you love them for who they are is how I see it. I used to love talking to people about how funny, witty and close my family was. (Keyword: was) I feel like that is all in the past and that no one cares to get back to that. I have friends who don’t have families or parents or have lost a parent and it makes me sick to think my family is becoming so self absorbed that they can’t even see that we’re so lucky to still have each other to cherish AND to spend holidays together. If my grandfather were still alive he would beat the hell out of everyone and tell them to get their shit together and get over it. There is no way in hell he would be ok with how things are now with everyone and I wish there was a way I just could fix it. It just makes me not want to come home for holidays anymore…which sucks. I love everyone in my family more than they will ever know, which makes it so hard to sit back and watch all of this unfold.
I went out to the beach a couple days ago and caught up with a good friend of mine who I’ve been cancelling plans with for what seems to be months now! I’m really glad we got a chance to catch up and talk about how our lives are going because it was something that I needed. There is something so refreshing when it comes to hearing that one of your good friends is having such amazing things happen for them.
I’ve wanted to write a new post for the past couple of weeks now but didn’t really know which approach to take and I still really don’t know where I am even going with this one if I’m being honest. Hopping from topic to topic randomly seems to be the way I'm going about it. I think I just felt the need to get a few things off my chest casually but when I really think about it I don’t even think I’ve even tipped the iceberg. I wish I could go down the list of things that I have running through my head and fix all of them. But with all things in life…God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies… Happy Graciasgiving everyone.
PS. Mom, I love you
