I don't think I have ever been so happy that I am single in my life. The thought of dating someone right now and actually having it work out seems so far fetched that I can't even begin to comprehend how I would go about making it happen.. If I hear "you're such an amazing woman, you're beautiful, you're smart, funny, the most caring person I know" one more time I may wrip my hair out. All of these things I am fully aware of and am a capable of knowing without having a man tell me who obviously doesn't really mean it. If he meant it then whats the problem?? Clearly there are other deep issues set aside that he doesn't want to come forth with because he's affraid of hurting my feelings...and honestly thats fine with me.
If I got money for every man I dated that didn't come back and say "I miss you" or "I messed up" I'd be a rich woman right now. Why does it take me telling a man that Im over him a few weeks after he's ended our "relationship" for him to relize what he had? Green eggs and ham has called and texted every few weeks with something random and meaningless just to start up a conversation. If I respond by answering the nonsense question he asks he then turns that into him telling me that he's finally got his life in order and is trying to figure out his feelings. Well my dear...Im sorry it has taken you 6 months to figure out how fantastic I am and that you screwed up by leaving but you're a little later because I don't care. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have told him I am over him in any romantic way and he still doesn't give up!!
Ever sense I've become thrilled with being single and over dating anyone, I've been meeting so many great guys and having random fun trips planned out of the blue. Its all fun while it lasts but its so hard for me to not look at them and think they're going to be like the last one that came around. I know that you can't take past relationships and feelings from past experiences into new ones because then you're bound to set yourself up for failure. I just am not having any expectations for any man that is coming into my life in the new future because I'm just over dealing with them. I don't need to be showered with gifts, paraded around town, spend every waking second with someone to feel special...all I want is for someone is to be nice to me, show me respect and actually appreciate that fact that you have me. The only man who has ever made me feel like that is my father...that shit better change quickly or I am out.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Serendipity: (ser⋅en⋅dip⋅i⋅ty) –noun 1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
Clearly anyone who knows me knows that I hate flying. I get sick, I get nervous, I get grossed out at all of the possibly germs that are swarming around me while I sit in the uncomfortable chair hoping the flight is over quickly and praying we land safely. As a result of my getting sick while flying I have to resort to taking large amounts of Bonine the day before as well as the day of my flight so I am 150% positive it is in my system and ready to take charge.
I have been doing a lot of traveling for work the past year and am all over the place every few months. I have grown to, I wouldn't say "enjoy" flying but lets just say flying and I have come to terms and are establishing a decent relationship. A few months ago, (August) I was sent out to cow town West Texas for a 4 day trip to work with Dockers. The beginning of the trip had started off a little bumpy because I missed my flight to leave so I was on standby all day, but I made it. I made myself take a deep breath once I arrived and decided I was not going to ruin my trip. I had never been to the two places I was sent to but had an absolute BLAST (thanks to a local cowboy and a "spa" trip). I went to canyons, the Caddy Ranch, ate incredible Mexican food, saw where wind was farmed, had Dyers BBQ...ooohhh Dyers how I will miss you...all after work obviously :)
At the time I was sort of getting out of a very quick, somewhat of a relationship if you would say with a guy who had just moved to DC..so I had work book my flight to go straight there to spend the weekend visiting him for his birthday. We cut ties right before my trip so I was still on the fence on whether or not I should even go. The week was ending and my time to part ways from good ol' Texas was arriving so I had to make my decision and act quickly. I had already booked my one day flight home from DC to Tampa for Sunday and all flights leaving from Amarillo to Tampa were $350...what to do, what to do??? I hadn't heard much from this guy all week so I was pretty much over the decision to go to DC and see him. I booked my flight home to Tampa and that was that.
The day I was supposed to leave was Thursday and it was a jam packed day. I worked all day then drove to the Palo Duro Canyon, spray painted a few more cute things at the Caddy Ranch then made my way to the airport. Now, at this point I was pretty exhausted and not looking my best. The canyon and the CRanch were pretty dusty and I was in a white dress...so use your imagination please. It wasn't cute. Anyway, so I make my flight and head from Amarillo to Dallas. My flight was scheduled to land in Dallas around 8:00 and my connecting flight leaving Dallas was scheduled for 9:00. Plenty of time to get from one gate to the other. As we're flying the pilot announces that there is bad weather over Dallas so we will either have to land at another airport and wait out the storm or we'll have to circle the airport and try to land on the opposite side where it was clearing up. 8:45 rolls around and it has become clear to everyone on the plane that we were going to miss our connecting flight. Not sure what was going to happen once we landed I just sat back and chuckled a little because like my family always says "if it’s going to happen to anyone, it’s going to happen to me".
We finally land and everyone in the airport is running around like maniacs because every connecting flight had already left and everyone missed them. I get to the desk and the woman says to me that the next flight out isn't until 8:30 the following morning. Of course it wasn't....I had no clothes to change into, nothing to wash my face with, no makeup....nothing but a laptop and thank GOD my cell phone charger. I had never been stranded at an airport overnight before and for some reason I had it in my head that we weren't allowed to leave. Im stressing at this point and I ask the woman at the counter "what am I suppose to do??". She replies with, "get a hotel?". Clearly this is normal this to do but I did not realize this. I get my hotel booked and the shuttle comes 40 mins later to pick me up. We (about 10 other passengers in the same predicament I am in) arrive at the hotel that is 10 miles away from the airport and the shuttle drive tells us that he will be back at 6:00am to pick up back up. Lovely...
I get about 3 hours of sleep because I’m paranoid that I'm going to miss my alarm, miss the shuttle and subsequently miss my flight (again). I wake up, get on the shuttle, and arrive at the airport. All I can think about is a cup of coffee... that could possibly have the chance of being spiked with tequila that then might also have the chance of actually tasting good. Knowing my odds were slim to none I buy the largest cup of Dunkins I am able to find and sit at my gate and patiently wait to board my flight.
As I am sitting at the gate I happen to look up every so often and see this delicious hunk of pilot goodness that keeps walking back and forth in front of me. Oblivious to my surroundings and unaware of the possibility that he could see me gocking at him, I just shameless stare. Up to this point, I had in my head that every time I saw a good-looking pilot, it had to be Jake...right?? (ladies you have to know who Jake is). But he was way better in my eyes. Salt and pepper bunch of yumminess this one was. Knowing I look of death and thank the Lords above that I happened to travel with mascara for this trip, I try and make myself blend in so he doesn't see me.
A few more minutes go by and they start calling for my flight to board. So relieved I can finally sit back and relax, I gather my things and head over to stand to hear my group called. As I get closer I notice my silver fox is standing at my gate as well. They call my group so I head over...hes in front of me. Im standing behind him, just kinda half asleep, shamelessly checking him out and reading his little name tag that was on his bag. "Cute first name" I thought, couldn't really pronounce his last name but hey, it flowed. Anyway, as were walking to our seats down the aisle I notice all of the women in the back of the place checking him out. Of course Im thinking..."yeah bitches he's with me", but clearly that wasn't the case. The whole time we're walking all I was saying was "please be in row 23, please be in row 23, please make this trip really worth it"...and then what happens? He stops at row 22 and starts to load his bags in the storage bin up top. As he's doing this, his glasses fall off of his shirt, so obviously I pick them up, one because thats the nice thing to do and two...ice breaker!
I then sit down on the aisle seat in row 23 thinking that was my seat. Then he tells me its his...my first reaction is "thank GOD I got the window" then it was "omg is this really happening??" We sit down and neither one of us is hoping the middle seat is filled. He probably didn't want it to be filled because he's not a short man and it would probably be a little cramped as where me on the other hand, I just wanted to look at him. The flight is about to get going and I grab my gum from my purse then offer him some. He takes a piece then offers me his shoe and cell phone...not sure why but it was cute. Then we start yapping...and yapping and really don't stop for more than maybe 2 minutes or so at a time. We talked about our jobs, relationships, our HORRIBLE luck with relationships, how much we love dogs, traveling, our families...you name it we probably talked about it. He was telling me about the airline he works for and how its based in Clearwater and that he would be down here for two weeks for a training sometime...didn't remember when but definitely took note to that. This was probably the first and only flight I did not want to end.
As we landed I did my "deep breathes" and braced myself to hopefully not crash and he was super nice and calmed me down a little. Once we got off the plane we started walking and talking about what our plans were for the weekend and then he said he was going to run to the restroom but that he would meet me in baggage claim. No big deal, I was heading that way and would see him there. As I got to the other side of the airport I got a text saying my friend was picking me up inside instead waiting in his car. Very gentlemanly thing to do but at that moment all I could think of was "omg I can't go to baggage claim with another guy!!" Then I realize my bags arrived the night before with the original flight so I couldn't even go to baggage claim!" Ugh just when I thought the trip was ending great...something had to bring it down. I get my bags, my friend drops me off and I then pass out from being up for over 24 hours almost.
The next day I wake up and all I can freaking think about is this dreamy pilot I had an amazing encounter with but had NO clue what his last name was so there was no way to get in touch with him. Not knowing why or if I should even worry about him every again, I couldn't get him off of my mind. He may not have even noticed that I wasn't at baggage claim but the thought that he did, I just felt terrible. I got on my computer that night and was telling my girlfriend Patti all about it and how it sounds crazy but I had to find this guy. I searched and searched but nothing was coming up...probably because I had no clue what to search for...but I was trying.
A few days go by and I have dinner and drinks with my girlfriend and then she asks if I want to come hang out with her and her pilot friend. "Pilot?? What airline does he fly for??" She tells me, and I say "well that’s the wrong one, he needs to fly for ___" Then she goes on to tell me that he used to and that they know a higher up for the company. Not knowing why I asked this, I then go on to explain why..Once she realizes the significance of the airline she braces me because I almost fall of my chair with disbelief that I could actually get in contact with this guy! Patiently waiting for her friend's arrival, he finally comes and maybe let him get 3 words in before I said "You have to find someone for me". He is a little taken back so I tell him the story, shorter version of course and he goes "well didn't you think to get his contact info or anything since you guys had this amazing heart to heart?" I tell him I couldn't go to baggage claim and that totally threw it off! Once he realizes I am a pain in the ass and will not let him forget to help me or say he won't help me, he shrugs his shoulders and says he will make a phone call and try and find out what he can. I told him all I want is a last name because I know a first.
Weeks go by again and nothing. He still hadn't heard from this contact that he knew and I was starting to get bummed and was coming to terms with the fact that I may never speak to this man again. Then my birthday comes around. My girlfriend and I are out having a drink and he comes, before he sits down I told him that he wasn't allowed to be there unless he had a name for me...so he tries another option that he didn't previously think of. 20 mins go by and he grabs his phone and smiles. Asks me how I much I love him and then shows me the screen and I see it. Couldn't believe it...there it was! Still can't pronounce it but I knew it was the one! He then tells me to email him at his first initial, last name @_____.com so I do. I waste NO time and on my birthday, at the bar I pull out my phone and nervously type a message to a man I had a chance encounter with on a plane and pray he doesn't think I am crazy...
Days go by and I don't head anything. Obviously he thinks I'm crazy and is totally freaked out by this all... then it happens. I check my email one day and there is was...HE WROTE BACK!!! I couldn't believe it! He was shocked, surprised but happy to hear from me. He referenced a few things from our conversation on the plane and kept it short and sweet. In the email I sent for the first time I asked him if he had done his training down here yet and when he replied he said he had just left the previous week after being down here for TWO FULL WEEKS! Just my luck right? 4 days after he leaves I find him...
We messaged each other for a few weeks via email then one day while in Orlando with my girlfriend I wake up to a text message from him. ( I had given him my number in an email previously)...I was BEAMING and just so excited. I still hadn't wrapped my brain around the fact that I was actually communicating with this guy! What are the odds of this happening??
A few more weeks go by and I get a text saying he might be coming into town because their plane was having problems. I was leaving that week for a trip to Miami for work but I would be gone less than 24 hrs so the odds of him coming within that time frame are slim to none...right? I land in Miami to turn on my phone and find a text saying "Im in St. Pete". My stomach was in my throat and I wanted to cry. (not literally but couldn't believe it) As my flight was taking off from Tampa, his was landing (no joke) "TWICE???? Twice I missed him and when was 20 mins away from my house??" I thought... I was scheduled to come back at 4:3opm the following day and just knew he would be gone by then. I had my girlfriends saying they would go mess the plane up so he was stranded longer...but clearly that wasn't going to happen. I just was sick about it. I couldn't believe it was happening but there was nothing I could do so I had to get over it. "Was I ever going to get the chance to see him again?? All I want is to have a cup of coffee with the guy and let me see me not looking like a semi had just plowed over me!" I woke up to a text at around 8:30 am saying he had already left town...
He has almost come back to town one other time since then, but it was a false alarm. He and I are still in contact with each other but who knows when he'll make it here again.. I have no crazy expectations about any of this but all I want is to just see the man again and have another great conversation over a good cup of Joe... (made at my house of course :)
I have been doing a lot of traveling for work the past year and am all over the place every few months. I have grown to, I wouldn't say "enjoy" flying but lets just say flying and I have come to terms and are establishing a decent relationship. A few months ago, (August) I was sent out to cow town West Texas for a 4 day trip to work with Dockers. The beginning of the trip had started off a little bumpy because I missed my flight to leave so I was on standby all day, but I made it. I made myself take a deep breath once I arrived and decided I was not going to ruin my trip. I had never been to the two places I was sent to but had an absolute BLAST (thanks to a local cowboy and a "spa" trip). I went to canyons, the Caddy Ranch, ate incredible Mexican food, saw where wind was farmed, had Dyers BBQ...ooohhh Dyers how I will miss you...all after work obviously :)
At the time I was sort of getting out of a very quick, somewhat of a relationship if you would say with a guy who had just moved to DC..so I had work book my flight to go straight there to spend the weekend visiting him for his birthday. We cut ties right before my trip so I was still on the fence on whether or not I should even go. The week was ending and my time to part ways from good ol' Texas was arriving so I had to make my decision and act quickly. I had already booked my one day flight home from DC to Tampa for Sunday and all flights leaving from Amarillo to Tampa were $350...what to do, what to do??? I hadn't heard much from this guy all week so I was pretty much over the decision to go to DC and see him. I booked my flight home to Tampa and that was that.
The day I was supposed to leave was Thursday and it was a jam packed day. I worked all day then drove to the Palo Duro Canyon, spray painted a few more cute things at the Caddy Ranch then made my way to the airport. Now, at this point I was pretty exhausted and not looking my best. The canyon and the CRanch were pretty dusty and I was in a white dress...so use your imagination please. It wasn't cute. Anyway, so I make my flight and head from Amarillo to Dallas. My flight was scheduled to land in Dallas around 8:00 and my connecting flight leaving Dallas was scheduled for 9:00. Plenty of time to get from one gate to the other. As we're flying the pilot announces that there is bad weather over Dallas so we will either have to land at another airport and wait out the storm or we'll have to circle the airport and try to land on the opposite side where it was clearing up. 8:45 rolls around and it has become clear to everyone on the plane that we were going to miss our connecting flight. Not sure what was going to happen once we landed I just sat back and chuckled a little because like my family always says "if it’s going to happen to anyone, it’s going to happen to me".
We finally land and everyone in the airport is running around like maniacs because every connecting flight had already left and everyone missed them. I get to the desk and the woman says to me that the next flight out isn't until 8:30 the following morning. Of course it wasn't....I had no clothes to change into, nothing to wash my face with, no makeup....nothing but a laptop and thank GOD my cell phone charger. I had never been stranded at an airport overnight before and for some reason I had it in my head that we weren't allowed to leave. Im stressing at this point and I ask the woman at the counter "what am I suppose to do??". She replies with, "get a hotel?". Clearly this is normal this to do but I did not realize this. I get my hotel booked and the shuttle comes 40 mins later to pick me up. We (about 10 other passengers in the same predicament I am in) arrive at the hotel that is 10 miles away from the airport and the shuttle drive tells us that he will be back at 6:00am to pick up back up. Lovely...
I get about 3 hours of sleep because I’m paranoid that I'm going to miss my alarm, miss the shuttle and subsequently miss my flight (again). I wake up, get on the shuttle, and arrive at the airport. All I can think about is a cup of coffee... that could possibly have the chance of being spiked with tequila that then might also have the chance of actually tasting good. Knowing my odds were slim to none I buy the largest cup of Dunkins I am able to find and sit at my gate and patiently wait to board my flight.
As I am sitting at the gate I happen to look up every so often and see this delicious hunk of pilot goodness that keeps walking back and forth in front of me. Oblivious to my surroundings and unaware of the possibility that he could see me gocking at him, I just shameless stare. Up to this point, I had in my head that every time I saw a good-looking pilot, it had to be Jake...right?? (ladies you have to know who Jake is). But he was way better in my eyes. Salt and pepper bunch of yumminess this one was. Knowing I look of death and thank the Lords above that I happened to travel with mascara for this trip, I try and make myself blend in so he doesn't see me.
A few more minutes go by and they start calling for my flight to board. So relieved I can finally sit back and relax, I gather my things and head over to stand to hear my group called. As I get closer I notice my silver fox is standing at my gate as well. They call my group so I head over...hes in front of me. Im standing behind him, just kinda half asleep, shamelessly checking him out and reading his little name tag that was on his bag. "Cute first name" I thought, couldn't really pronounce his last name but hey, it flowed. Anyway, as were walking to our seats down the aisle I notice all of the women in the back of the place checking him out. Of course Im thinking..."yeah bitches he's with me", but clearly that wasn't the case. The whole time we're walking all I was saying was "please be in row 23, please be in row 23, please make this trip really worth it"...and then what happens? He stops at row 22 and starts to load his bags in the storage bin up top. As he's doing this, his glasses fall off of his shirt, so obviously I pick them up, one because thats the nice thing to do and two...ice breaker!
I then sit down on the aisle seat in row 23 thinking that was my seat. Then he tells me its his...my first reaction is "thank GOD I got the window" then it was "omg is this really happening??" We sit down and neither one of us is hoping the middle seat is filled. He probably didn't want it to be filled because he's not a short man and it would probably be a little cramped as where me on the other hand, I just wanted to look at him. The flight is about to get going and I grab my gum from my purse then offer him some. He takes a piece then offers me his shoe and cell phone...not sure why but it was cute. Then we start yapping...and yapping and really don't stop for more than maybe 2 minutes or so at a time. We talked about our jobs, relationships, our HORRIBLE luck with relationships, how much we love dogs, traveling, our families...you name it we probably talked about it. He was telling me about the airline he works for and how its based in Clearwater and that he would be down here for two weeks for a training sometime...didn't remember when but definitely took note to that. This was probably the first and only flight I did not want to end.
As we landed I did my "deep breathes" and braced myself to hopefully not crash and he was super nice and calmed me down a little. Once we got off the plane we started walking and talking about what our plans were for the weekend and then he said he was going to run to the restroom but that he would meet me in baggage claim. No big deal, I was heading that way and would see him there. As I got to the other side of the airport I got a text saying my friend was picking me up inside instead waiting in his car. Very gentlemanly thing to do but at that moment all I could think of was "omg I can't go to baggage claim with another guy!!" Then I realize my bags arrived the night before with the original flight so I couldn't even go to baggage claim!" Ugh just when I thought the trip was ending great...something had to bring it down. I get my bags, my friend drops me off and I then pass out from being up for over 24 hours almost.
The next day I wake up and all I can freaking think about is this dreamy pilot I had an amazing encounter with but had NO clue what his last name was so there was no way to get in touch with him. Not knowing why or if I should even worry about him every again, I couldn't get him off of my mind. He may not have even noticed that I wasn't at baggage claim but the thought that he did, I just felt terrible. I got on my computer that night and was telling my girlfriend Patti all about it and how it sounds crazy but I had to find this guy. I searched and searched but nothing was coming up...probably because I had no clue what to search for...but I was trying.
A few days go by and I have dinner and drinks with my girlfriend and then she asks if I want to come hang out with her and her pilot friend. "Pilot?? What airline does he fly for??" She tells me, and I say "well that’s the wrong one, he needs to fly for ___" Then she goes on to tell me that he used to and that they know a higher up for the company. Not knowing why I asked this, I then go on to explain why..Once she realizes the significance of the airline she braces me because I almost fall of my chair with disbelief that I could actually get in contact with this guy! Patiently waiting for her friend's arrival, he finally comes and maybe let him get 3 words in before I said "You have to find someone for me". He is a little taken back so I tell him the story, shorter version of course and he goes "well didn't you think to get his contact info or anything since you guys had this amazing heart to heart?" I tell him I couldn't go to baggage claim and that totally threw it off! Once he realizes I am a pain in the ass and will not let him forget to help me or say he won't help me, he shrugs his shoulders and says he will make a phone call and try and find out what he can. I told him all I want is a last name because I know a first.
Weeks go by again and nothing. He still hadn't heard from this contact that he knew and I was starting to get bummed and was coming to terms with the fact that I may never speak to this man again. Then my birthday comes around. My girlfriend and I are out having a drink and he comes, before he sits down I told him that he wasn't allowed to be there unless he had a name for me...so he tries another option that he didn't previously think of. 20 mins go by and he grabs his phone and smiles. Asks me how I much I love him and then shows me the screen and I see it. Couldn't believe it...there it was! Still can't pronounce it but I knew it was the one! He then tells me to email him at his first initial, last name @_____.com so I do. I waste NO time and on my birthday, at the bar I pull out my phone and nervously type a message to a man I had a chance encounter with on a plane and pray he doesn't think I am crazy...
Days go by and I don't head anything. Obviously he thinks I'm crazy and is totally freaked out by this all... then it happens. I check my email one day and there is was...HE WROTE BACK!!! I couldn't believe it! He was shocked, surprised but happy to hear from me. He referenced a few things from our conversation on the plane and kept it short and sweet. In the email I sent for the first time I asked him if he had done his training down here yet and when he replied he said he had just left the previous week after being down here for TWO FULL WEEKS! Just my luck right? 4 days after he leaves I find him...
We messaged each other for a few weeks via email then one day while in Orlando with my girlfriend I wake up to a text message from him. ( I had given him my number in an email previously)...I was BEAMING and just so excited. I still hadn't wrapped my brain around the fact that I was actually communicating with this guy! What are the odds of this happening??
A few more weeks go by and I get a text saying he might be coming into town because their plane was having problems. I was leaving that week for a trip to Miami for work but I would be gone less than 24 hrs so the odds of him coming within that time frame are slim to none...right? I land in Miami to turn on my phone and find a text saying "Im in St. Pete". My stomach was in my throat and I wanted to cry. (not literally but couldn't believe it) As my flight was taking off from Tampa, his was landing (no joke) "TWICE???? Twice I missed him and when was 20 mins away from my house??" I thought... I was scheduled to come back at 4:3opm the following day and just knew he would be gone by then. I had my girlfriends saying they would go mess the plane up so he was stranded longer...but clearly that wasn't going to happen. I just was sick about it. I couldn't believe it was happening but there was nothing I could do so I had to get over it. "Was I ever going to get the chance to see him again?? All I want is to have a cup of coffee with the guy and let me see me not looking like a semi had just plowed over me!" I woke up to a text at around 8:30 am saying he had already left town...
He has almost come back to town one other time since then, but it was a false alarm. He and I are still in contact with each other but who knows when he'll make it here again.. I have no crazy expectations about any of this but all I want is to just see the man again and have another great conversation over a good cup of Joe... (made at my house of course :)
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